How to Enjoy Camping: DIRT

I always thought that I could tolerate dirt. As a child I was always rolling around the dirt in my school's playground, putting it in my pockets, and on the rolled part of my rolled up pants (I would unroll them, put dirt in there, and roll again), and just finding all these awesome things to do with it. When picking me up at school, my mom would grab me by the legs and (softly) shake me upside down until no more dirt came out. I was NOT allowed in the car like that. Then we would stop by where my dad worked, and he would put me on a stool and blow compressed air at me, again until no more dirt came out. Only then was I allowed to enter my home, but not without my mom stripping me first, and throwing my still dirty clothes in the washer. My family never forgot this, and until today, they still consider me one of the dirtiest people in the family, even though I am probably cleaner than most of them. I was labeled, and I will stay like that forever.

Of course, I grew up, and got used to being sparkling clean ALL the time (hehe). However, I didn't realize how much I had changed, and I went on a camping trip being very excited about not taking a real shower for a couple of days. Two minutes into the trip I wanted to go home. 

This photo was taken after I spilled half a jar of molten peanut butter on myself.
You experienced campers can go embrace your peanut butter covered skin.
However, I had never been happier to see a waterfall.

Yes yes, people will tell you that the key is to embrace being dirty. But this is very silly advice. If you are not used to being dirty you can't suddenly be OK with it. I was absolutely embracing it on that one trip! I was even excited about it! I was ready to be sweaty, and sticky, and smelly! and then I realized that my legs started sticking together whenever they touched each other, my arms were sticking together at the elbows whenever I bent them, I was so sticky that sticks and leaves and rocks were getting glued to me, but when I tried to remove them they would just stick to my hands, etc etc etc. I'm not saying that embracing dirt is not important, but it is definitely not a magical solution; it is just the first step of many. 

These are the things that help me get through: 

1. Wipes (#1 #1 IMPORTANT) 

   

Wipes are essential when you have to do your thingies in the wild. I don't think toilet paper is enough when you are all sticky and nasty, and when there is no shower to be taken in your near future. But this I'm sure we already know. However, wipes can substitute your shower! They can freshen up your entire body! Use them from head to toe for what Alexei (my lovie) and I call a 'baby wipe shower'. Some people may be against the amount of wipes you use for this, but when you are camping in a desert area, or when there is no water to be found except your drinking stash, they are priceless. 

The Best Part! They come in a variety of types! Whenever Alexei and I camp we bring three types: 

- The Classic Baby Wipe 

This ones are great for the majority of your body. Yes, they will make you feel sticky for the first couple of minutes, but then you dry and are sparkling clean! 

- Vuh.G.G wipes 

**clears throat**

Yes, I am aware that this are feminine wipes, and maybe a man is reading this, and trying to scroll down fast before his woman sees him reading about feminine wipes, but these are so refreshing! (Even for you, dude) 

I know you can use normal baby wipes for your partie parts, but hey! I bring baby food when I go camping, I take baby wipe showers, I whine a lot, and who knows what other baby things I do! I need to have something grownup with me to show people that they should take me seriously! and vuh.G.G. wipes do just that. 

We also use them at home, and LOVE them. 

- Face wipes

These are a lifesaver. Just thinking about camping used to make a huge pimple appear in the middle of my face. I was desperate to do something about it! but the silly baby wipes weren't helping at all! and I wouldn't even think of wiping my face with vuh.G.G. wipes! Then one day I was going around the grocery store looking for makeup removing wipes, and just for funsies I read the instructions in the back of these "Yes to Cucumbers" ones. It said you didn't need to rinse! They clean! tone! and moisturize for you! Of course, I wouldn't use them on my everyday life as my whole cleansing routine, but for camping they are perfect! I later found out that most face cleansing wipes do this! and here I thought that they were just used to remove makeup!  

Again, these are one of those that men can absolutely use. Alexei and I share them all the time. He uses them sometimes when he gets home late and is too tired to wash his face. And he is still very very manly. 

2. A Shower

Now this one is not for every trip. For this you need a tall place where you could hang a big and heavy bag of water, and of course, you need a source of water, since you don't want to use your drinking stuff to shower. They sell these showers in lots of places, and they can be incredibly refreshing. But again, when camping in the desert they are out of question. 

Left: Alexei setting up the shower. It wasn't easy. 

Right: shower already set up (photo by my friend Julio)

3. Dr. Bronners Magical Shower

Lastly, if you don't agree with wipes because they are not environmentally friendly, and you don't have enough water to set up a shower, you can try using Dr. Bronners showering method. You will only use the equivalent to one and a half sinks full of water, and it is environmentally friendly.

“For facial packs, scalp & soothing body rub, add dash on bath towel in sink of hot water. Wring out. Lay over face & scalp. Massage with fingertips. Repeat 3 or 4 times ’til arms, legs & all are rubbed, always toward the heart. Rinse towel in plain hot water and massage again. Breathe deeply! Health is Wealth. Within 9 minutes you feel fresh and clean, saving 90% of your hot water & soap. . .”

This little bottle is great to bring on a camping trip, and it will last a long time, since it is super concentrated. I tried to use this soap without diluting it, and it burns. You definitely need to dilute it. 

So there. You don't need to love dirt to enjoy camping. Yes, eventually you will get more used to it, and feel more comfortable with being dirty, like I did when I was a child. But in the mean time, use these tips, and you will be the happiest camper out there.